Love or Fear

If you’re faced with a challenge or a decision to make, it’s always wise to pause and examine why you’re choosing one path or another. This is a good habit to establish when seeking to be more mindful and self-aware.

Somewhere, a long time ago, I read that there are two main motivators in life: love and fear. This idea stuck with me and I find myself circling back to it when I’m faced with and thinking through big decisions in my life. The concept seems simple, but it serves as a powerful gut-check about what is really driving you.

The way it works is to think about what choice you’re faced with - maybe you’re thinking about ending a relationship, or maybe you’re thinking about starting classes to earn a degree. Ask yourself “why am I considering doing this?”

If you ask yourself “why” enough times, you’ll eventually get down to one of two answers - either you’re excited by or in love with the prospect of something, or you’re afraid of an outcome or running from something.

If you ask yourself “why” enough times, you’ll eventually get down to one of two answers...

Some decisions are not inherently good or bad. What truly defines a decision is your motivation behind making that choice. For example, you may think that starting classes to earn a degree must be coming from a good place, since that decision is generally considered a positive thing in society. But if you get down to your core motivation and discover you’re only making that choice because you feel pressure to live up to your parents expectations, then the decision is not necessarily positively motivated.

As we’re faced with decisions, big and small, in our everyday lives, we must pause and consider our true motivations. This is a powerful tool of self-awareness that can uncover patterns that need our attention. Challenges will never stop coming our way, but we can choose to let love guide us.​​